A Sad "Tail". . .

Normally, I use this blog to share my photos. Today, however, I feel the need to warn young couples about a problem they may be faced with while traveling down the road called married life. I could warn you about potential arguments you will have, inevitable discrepancies in preferences you will be faced with, or even the difficulties of figuring out a Saturday routine that works for both of you. But the issue I have to discuss with you today is far more serious. Ben and I only wish someone had taken the time to warn us.

Squirrels. Those common animals that run around wreaking havoc on acorns. Never thought they could cause a problem, right? That's what Ben and I thought too. This morning I awoke suddenly to a loud banging sound. My first thought was that someone had broken into our apartment and was throwing all of our dishes out of the cupboards. I looked at my sleeping husband and decided not to bother trying to wake him up. He is not a morning person. I ran into the kitchen as if I could stop this dish-throwing intruder. However, the kitchen sat untouched as the banging and throttling sound continued. At this point I have to include a little background to the story. Our kitchen has been our least favorite room of the apartment for awhile now. I have heard strange noises coming from behind the stove wall several times before. The first time I thought that our upstairs neighbors were trying to drown a puppy. There was a lot of gurgling, whining, water swishing, and banging. It only lasted a few seconds each time. And then there were the smells. Every once in awhile our kitchen would smell absolutely horrible. It would last for about a week and then go away. I have looked in every cupboard, behind the stove, etc. and never found a culprit. Back to today. Today the banging sounds lasted more than a few seconds. Ben finally responded to my yelling and came out to listen to the strange noises. Now Ben is a wonderful husband, and quite manly, but taking care of things like spiders or anything that crawls or slithers is not his forte. He started running around the apartment like a little girl. Once he had gotten that out of his system we sat on the couch together and just stared toward the direction of the sound in horror. After church, the sound continued and even worsened. Ben and I finally admitted it had to be an animal. I was picturing an octopus at this point. The banging and water swishing got so bad that Ben ran across the hall and banged on our neighbor's door. "You gotta listen to this!" Our neighbor came over and immediately told us he knew what the problem was. He brought us out on the balcony and showed us the opening to a small vent. Most of the apartments had gotten a screen to cover this vent. Why not take the precaution of covering all of them? I'm not sure. I guess they wanted us to have a little excitement in our lives. Our neighbor told us a squirrel was in our stove vent and turned on the fan to try to scare him out. As the fan turned on, squirrel urine rained out. Or it could be rainwater. . . let's hope for the latter. There was nothing else we could do but wait for the squirrel to find his way out. After it went quiet for about an hour, we wondered if we were rid of our furry visitor. Then there was the loudest thumping and banging of all. I put a laundry basket on top of the stove and waited with a screen to put over it in case the squirrel broke through our side of the vent. It seemed to be making one last valiant effort to break out. Then the thumping stopped. I listened closely wondering if it had made its way to freedom. Instead of silence I heard a quiet whimper and then a dog-like cry. There have been no sounds since then for about three hours. That means there is a dead squirrel above our stove.

Ben and I had takeout tonight. I don't see myself cooking for quite awhile. I do see myself calling maintenance to have a screen put over the outside of our vent. And I suggest you take this opportunity to squirrel-proof your house as well.